


even if we can’t find heaven

by novictorieswithoutlove



Category: Gallagher Girls Series - Ally Carter
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family Issues, Found Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23891005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novictorieswithoutlove/pseuds/novictorieswithoutlove
Summary: Macey McHenry has two families: the one she was born into, and the one she made.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	even if we can’t find heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a line from Rachel Platten’s “stand by you” because the song was playing on a loop in my head while I wrote this and honestly it really fits the theme of the fic, and of the Gallagher Girls series on the whole. 
> 
> Some day, I will stop writing fic when I’m supposed to be sleeping. It’s four a.m. now. Today is clearly not that day.

Apropos of nothing, Macey said, “I ran away once.” 

It was nearing two in the morning, and they had been studying and quizzing each other in preparation for their exams for hours. They had all just decided they were done studying for junior languages for the night when Macey spoke.

“Yeah, we know Macey. That was literally last month,” Bex replied. It would be easy to read her reply as flippant, but Cammie knew from the way she was watching their friend out of the corner of her eye that Bex was both concerned and curious about why Macey was bringing this up now.

“No, I don’t mean last month. When I was... nine, I think, I ran away. Packed a bag, left a note, and everything.”

“You ran away?” Liz squeaked in distress and hugged her textbook tightly to her chest. She was probably running through crime statistics in her head at that very moment, and calculating the odds of how narrowly Macey’s child self had avoided being kidnapped by someone when she had gone off on her own. Macey looked a little like she regretted bringing the subject up, given the effect it was having on their smallest roommate.

“Yeah, I know it wasn’t smart. I knew then it wasn’t very smart. And anyway, I didn’t get very far before the cops found me. I guess...” Macey trailed off for a moment as she tried to find the right words. “I guess I just wanted to see if anyone would even care that I was gone.”

Cammie got up and padded over to Macey’s bed. She sat down right next to her friend and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Macey laid her head on Cammie’s shoulder. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then continued.

“I left my note on the kitchen table. I wasn’t sure anyone would see it if I left it in my room. And it was maybe two hours before I was back at the house again, and I got my answer. My parents thanked the detectives, sent them on their way, and then my mother promptly started chewing me out for making them look bad,” Macey said bitterly. 

Bex muttered some very rude words under her breath on hearing that.

“I kind of already knew they only loved the _idea_ of me, of having an heir to leave their estates to, but that cinched it.” There was a wealth of pain in those words, and Cammie couldn’t help but squeeze Macey closer to her side in reaction.

Cammie understood why Macey had picked now to tell them. The part of her which had learned to be hard and calculating to survive knew that telling them this right before bed the night before a series of very important exams meant that there wouldn’t be too much time to analyze or discuss what she had said. The part of Macey that had learned it was okay to be soft, that had learned to trust them and had stared directly at them in Columbus as she spoke of being there with her family that day, knew that they would listen without judgment. The part of Macey that had spent the better part of a semester thinking she was being targeted by a terrorist organization and desperately needed to unload some of her stress before tomorrow officially began had picked this memory specifically as a release valve because it had clearly been weighing on her heart for years, and now, here were three people who had heard the question “will anyone notice I’m gone” and answered, resoundingly, “yes.” Demonstratively. There was a file at Langley about it.

Bex got up and sat on Macey’s other side, while Liz came over and sat on the floor at Macey’s feet and leaned back against her legs.

“They’re idiots,” Bex declared. “You’re completely wasted on them, and they don’t deserve you.” Liz nodded furiously in agreement.

“You know,” Bex added, “it’s probably not too late to arrange for you to go to London for Christmas with us. I mean— the security they’re setting up for Cam is probably better than whatever your parents have, so they couldn’t object on that front.”

“Thanks, but they’re already expecting me, and other people are expecting them to bring me to a series of nearly identical holiday parties where everyone pretends they don’t hate each other, and the food is somehow both expensive and _bad_.” Macey finished with a sigh.

“Fun,” Bex deadpanned.

“Oodles,” She deadpanned back. “And thanks for offering, I really do appreciate it. But, after Abby and everything... I think I need a break from—“ she circled a finger in the air to indicate “the extremely high stress levels created by international terror plots,” or perhaps just spy school in general— “for a little while.”

“Fair enough,” said Cammie, who would happily escape the reality of being targeted by a terrorist organization for a few weeks if she could. 

“It would be fun, though. The four of us in London. I know Liz’s already got plans with her family though. Right, Lizzie?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Liz smiled apologetically up at them. 

“Maybe next year we can all spend Christmas together. Or part of summer,” Macey mused.

“Or both?” said Cammie.

“Both,” said Bex with a nod.

“Both is good,” Liz finished the quote. They broke down into giggles.

“Well, we can definitely try. I guess it depends on if my security... we can try,” Cammie finished resolutely. 

“And in the meantime, we can go to bed,” Macey said. Since it was now after two a.m. and they had a test in less than six hours, they all took her suggestion and finished getting ready for bed. Within a few minutes, they were all navigating the piles of books and belongings on the floor by moonlight and sliding under their covers.

“Mace?” Cammie kept her voice quiet in deference to the already-snoring Bex.

“Yeah Cam?”

“Thanks for trusting us enough to talk about that.”

“Thank you for coming after me.”

“Of course we came after you. You’re our sister,” said Cammie, meaning more in that moment than just herself and the two other girls in the room. Remembering the Gallagher Girls that had canvased Europe looking for Macey to bring her home. “One of us always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Macey McHenry, and I’m gonna make you all feel them too.
> 
> I think it’s fairly clear from the content, but I like to be clear, so: this takes place at the end of their fall semester, Junior year. Macey running away from home at age nine is not canon, but there’s nothing in canon that I can remember that would contradict this at all, so I’m considering it canon-compliant.


End file.
